What to do When Your Dream Wasn't God's Dream
You had journaled and prayed. You heard God's "Yes," but when the dream came to pass not only did it transpire differently than you had imagined, it came with hurt and rejection. It is one thing to not be chosen by others but to feel as though you are not chosen by God is much more hurtful.
I recently competed at the Miss Iowa USA pageant. This was a dream that God had placed on my heart since I was seventeen. I have never invested so much time, heart, and dedication into a dream. I was in the best physical, mental, and spiritual shape of my life. I had fully believed for eight years that this was the stage that God was going to use to promote me to His Kingdom purposes and to spread His message to young women through Chosen To Reign. When finals night came, all of the contestants full of hope and anticipation entered the stage. I waited confidently as the finalists were announced to advance to the Top 12. The spots dwindled, but my heart remained steadfast until the twelfth finalist was announced.
My name was not called. I did not even make it past the first cut. I was the most prepared but yet I placed the lowest I ever have at a pageant. I had my mind set on what was to come after the crown, never did I imagine the six judges would believe there were twelve girls better fit for the job above me. I never even thought of this outcome. I could see the enemy broadcasting the strongest lies of bondage over my life right here at center stage: “You are not seen. You are not heard. You are not chosen.” I was so heartbroken and confused. What did the judges not see in me? How could they not see me? Thoughts flooded my mind trying desperately to cling to any thread of reasoning. But there was none, and I will never have those answers. Most of all I was devastated by God, I felt like He didn’t show up for me, I cried out to Him, “Where were You? Why didn’t You come through for me? I was ready to do so much good for You.”
It was in the midst of this chaos on stage that I felt the Holy Spirit move in my heart and whisper, "My Kingdom purposes for you are greater than the position this Earthly promotion would allow. You have outgrown this stage. You do not need an Earthly crown to fulfill My calling. You are Kingdom crowned for eternity."
Trust that God sees and knows beyond your current circumstances. Be confident, and choose to trust Him even when you don’t understand. When circumstances are hard and others hurt you or reject you, when your heart has been so wrongfully broken: Choose to trust Him for the outcome and lift up your heartache to Him. If God is love and God is good, then I have to be brave enough to stand in His truth and fill in the unknowns with what I do know: God loves me and God is working.
When I do not understand my circumstances, I have to hold on to God's truth.
However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him. - 1 Corinthians 2:9
We have to believe that a “No” from God will always lead to a greater “Yes” yet to be revealed. As we keep believing, God keeps working. We can't count on others to always see us as God sees us. That is why it is so crucial to never place your worth into the sole subjective judgment of man. God will always look at His beloved daughter set free and call you a display of His splendor. He celebrates your willingness to be victorious through His might. He rejoices over you with singing! To display God's splendor is to radiate His beauty. Can you imagine a more wonderful calling? We have to let go of our plans and believe that His plan is always higher. You may feel unsure and unseen today, but hold on to His promises. He is faithful in all things. Beloved, you are chosen to be the radiance of God's beauty on Earth. That is the highest form of beauty we could ever dream.
“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.” – Isaiah 43:10